A Current Past

Here’s A Poem I wrote ….

When no one knows. No one sees that frown underneath that smile. They see this happy person, someone with joy and laughter in their eyes. This person has had more than enough time to perfect this fake, common mouth expression called a smile. Although this person does it almost everyday, this person can still laugh and feel joy and true happiness. This long sought out happiness is what helps this person forget for a moment. That is all this person wants to do is forget. This person wants to hold on to the ones that help her/him forget and live, but still this person is overwhelmed when the thoughts return.

When you’ve been through something detrimental, some may say that you need to suck it up and move on, but not everyone is the same, and not everyone heals the same way or in the same amount of time. After a dangerous occurrence happens, you can’t seem to wake up from it. It seems like it keeps haunting you forever. It stays with you. Why can’t your mind just let it go? Why does your mind keep reminding you of the situation? Why can’t you forget? Is your mind against you? You want to scream but be silent at the same time. Your mind says you’re okay, but your nerves say your officially scarred. You’re torn between two scales, one major and one minor.

You work everyday to move forward, but your feet are stuck in the immobile quicksand of the detrimental state that your mind has demonstrated perpetually. You feel like no one understands what’s going on in your head. You feel alone. You feel like 100% is almost not achievable. There’s always the saying “It could be worse”, but when these words reverberate in your thoughts, you are giving less attention to your current problem. Let’s not shy away from what this problem has caused you because it is just as scarring as any others. You ask yourself how long, but that question is never answered, so you keep prying at its door.

The previous part of you is what you keep running back to. It’s what you know. It’s everything. You use it to base everything off of because you no longer know what normal is, which causes you to think that there is even more wrong with you. You’re stuck in that past body, mind, and year, yet you’ve physically grown so much. You are unsure of what you are all about now. You keep searching but find nothing. Although you are so close to trying to find yourself, now, you are 10,000 steps behind your initial blueprint. The foundation is missing. Without a strong foundation, you fall a lot. Even if it takes 2 hours to get up, as long as you get up, you are fighting to continue to build onto the broken structure.

When you used to do many things you loved, but when you can no longer do them, you have to find new things to love, animate or inanimate. 

What is pain? Everyone should know it, right? Some may know pain well and others not so much. It rushes through the mind and soul and body because it has nowhere else to go. It is kept a prisoner within you. It wants to be freed from you as much as you want to be freed from it, but that sort of detachment causes pain to dwindle. Pain is afraid to be nothing so it is NULL. If and when you do finally detach yourself, the energy sucking vampire you call pain, you will eventually meet again. Pain is your friend and your enemy.


Depart from it not
Attach to it not
Forget it not
Remember it not
Love it not
Hate it not
Below are some links you might want to check out:







Calligraphy and Faux Calligraphy

Hello, readers!!!!

The last post was just an introduction and welcome post.  This post is going to be more fun.  You probably already know what I am going to be talking about by the title.  Yes, you guessed right.  This post is about calligraphy.  If you are a beginner and want to get into calligraphy, then this post is for you.

Have you ever wondered what calligraphy is?  I used to, but I quickly learned the answer was very simple.  Calligraphy is just hand written art done by using a writing utensil: such as a pen with a nib and others.  A good way to practice calligraphy inexpensively is by practicing something called faux calligraphy, another type of calligraphy.

Faux calligraphy is when you use the same techniques of calligraphy and apply them without an actual calligraphy utensil, so you can use any writing utensil you prefer such as a pencil, a pen, or a marker.  With faux calligraphy, I think it is very important to keep your downstrokes consistent (the same width).

The main focuses of both calligraphy and faux calligraphy are the strokes or lines.  When you hear someone say they write calligraphy, they are basically telling you that the lines that make up the letters alternate in thickness.  The most important part of the thick strokes used in calligraphy is that they are created on the down stroke.  The down stroke is crucial.  However, with faux calligraphy, it takes more time to color in the thick (down) strokes; some people don’t even fill in the down strokes, and you don’t have to fill them in as long as they are there.

When I practice faux calligraphy, I struggle with consistency a lot, but practicing faux calligraphy helps to reiterate the tools and tips of calligraphy because it forces you to know when and where to apply the rules, which in my opinion, is great for beginners and excellent for practice.

There are many calligraphy practice methods out there, but I prefer drills.  A drill is a technique that calls for writing or creating basic strokes over and over again.  Some don’t even do strokes.  Some caligraphers practice words over and over again instead of just practicing the strokes.  I don’t think it matters which method you use as long as it works for you.

For example, in the pictures below, you can see that I am practicing letters, words, and strokes.  I also show you the different thicknesses.  All I used was a number two pencil, which you can probably find around the house.  If you pay close attention, you can see that there are thin and thick strokes (lines), some of them unfilled.  The thin strokes are performed by dragging or pulling or pushing your writing utensil upward, and the down strokes are performed by pulling your writing utensil downward.  It is important to create thickness on the downstrokes because it will more than likely feel most natural.   Do what feels right to you.


faux calligraphy



calligraphy practice


I have not been doing calligraphy or faux calligraphy for very long, a few months maybe.  However, I’ve noticed that I really enjoy doing it in my spare time.  If calligraphy is something you are interested in trying, don’t hesitate.   For inspiration and practice purposes, I would suggest browsing YouTube, Instagram, Pinterest, Tumblr, or Facebook.  Many good calligraphers have said that you do not need to have pretty handwriting or pretty cursive to do calligraphy.  Try out calligraphy or even faux calligraphy, and see how you like it.  Maybe with a little practice and determination, you can even do calligraphy as a profession.

I hope this post helped you.  See you in the next one!!!

Below are some links from my favorite calligraphers from YouTube.  I even threw in a left-handed calligrapher for my left-handed readers.

If you’re interested in what tools to use, click the links below.